‘Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD their God’ Psalm 146:5
I love the story of Jacob, the young trickster son, who met with God as he fled in fear from his brother’s vengeance. Far from home, and laying his head down to sleep at a place called Luz, he had an awesome dream of a stairway between heaven and earth with angels ascending and descending on it, and the LORD above it, promising to watch over him and go with him. (Gen 28)
‘Surely, the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it,’ he says on waking, ‘How awesome is this place… this is the gate of heaven’ (v16-17). So Jacob calls this place Bethel, pledging that if God will go with him, ‘the LORD will be my God.’ (v21)
Later, when he eventually sets out to return to his homeland, he meets with a mysterious figure who wrestles with him through the night. Jacob refuses to let go of this man until he is blessed by Him. The stranger touches Jacob’s hip and causes him to limp for the rest of his life, also renaming him Israel. In this mysterious encounter, Jacob recognises that he has met with God face to face, and has been spared. And at long last he learns to stop relying on his own cunning and begins to lean on God’s strength. (Gen 32)
When I headed off to Newcastle University at the age of eighteen, I had no idea that this place would become my Bethel, the place where I would meet with the living God. I knew something about God from my mother’s faith and my years of church attendance, but I had never encountered God as a living reality in my own life.
As an intensely shy young man, I covered over my chronic social anxiety, by dressing as a heavy rocker, with long hair, leather jacket, rock t-shirts and studded wristbands, relying on a strategy of getting drunk out of my head, and living a life of lies to cope with my shyness.
In my early days at Newcastle I met with gospel Christians who invited me to Bible Studies. I happily accepted the invitation, believing myself to be a Christian, but I soon found that these people’s beliefs were very different from my own. Yet I did not tell them this, just tried to avoid them for a while. In my second year I remember telling my flatmates, ‘Believe me, I will never become a Christian.’ I guess God had other ideas.
In my third year, my accommodation fell through, and the only folk who would take me in were my Christian friends. During this time I got to see them up close and realised that they were not religious nutters, but very sincere in their faith. At the same time, I started going along to their church regularly to keep up the pretence of sharing their faith.
However, I was still living a double life, regularly getting drunk with my other friends, and lying to my Christian friends. On one occasion, when I was back living in a hall of residence, I was so drunk that I did not realise that I had fallen down a flight of eighteen stairs, coming out of a nightclub. On another occasion I was caught up in a public disturbance at Newcastle. I was so drunk that I failed to get out of the way of a police car which arrived rapidly on the scene, and rolled across the bonnet, shouting and swearing at the driver.
At the same time I was being strongly challenged by the preaching of the gospel at Heaton Baptist Church. One evening, however, the minister stood up and said, ‘I have nothing to preach this evening.’ Instead, he invited everyone to go through to the church hall to pray in repentance together. To my horror, most of the large congregation got up and followed him through. As a non-believer, I had no idea what was going on, and felt that if I went through to the church hall my ignorance would be exposed. So I stayed in the main sanctuary, pretending to pray. Over the other side of the building there was one other couple who stayed, praying where they were. Apart from that I was on my own. Yet with my eyes closed, I heard God speak to me with an audible voice. ‘Martyn, you cannot run away from me forever.’ I opened my eyes and looked around, but it was clear that the other couple had heard nothing. I was really shaken that evening.
At this point I began looking at the evidence for the Christian faith, and discovered that there was a good case for the historical reliability of the gospels, and the truth of the resurrection. I decided that maybe I would become a Christian in ten year’s time.
However, one Sunday afternoon, I had a strong impression that if what these people were saying was true, then Satan was using me to infiltrate God’s church. On my way to church that evening, I stopped and asked God to show me if He was real. That evening the preacher was speaking from Acts 5 about Ananias and Sapphira, who thought they were lying to the church, but were actually lying to the Holy Spirit and were struck down in judgement. I was already seriously challenged by this sermon, when the preacher stopped and said ‘I believe God is saying that Satan is using someone here to infiltrate God’s church!’ These were the exact same words that had been impressed on my heart earlier that day! Deeply convicted of sin, I went forward, and after the service confessed that I had been lying to the church about my Christian faith. In the next few days, as I read John’s gospel, it spoke to me as never before. Now that I had seen that God was real, I could no longer ‘demythologise’ the words of Jesus, and by the end of the week I had fully surrendered my life to Him.
Having become a Christian, I made an amazing discovery. I no longer needed to live a lie, or get drunk to cope with my shyness. I was accepted, and loved, by God and His people. And I gradually learned that I could rely on the Spirit’s power to overcome my fears. In the next few years I met my beautiful wife, and began to experience a call to preach. Like Jacob working for fourteen years in all for Rachel, it took many years for this calling to be recognised, but in due time the way was opened for me to study at Oak Hill, and eventually to become full-time minister at Allington Baptist Church.
Looking back now, I can see that God has been with me every step of the way, strengthening me and blessing me with His saving presence. So like Jacob at the end of his life I can happily testify to ‘the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day’ (Gen 48:15).
‘Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD their God’ Psalm 146:5
This psalm begins and ends with a call to praise the LORD (v1,10)
We are encouraged not to put our trust in human leaders, who are unable to save us (v3,4). Instead we should put our faith in the LORD, ‘the Maker of heaven and earth’ (v6), who ‘upholds.. the oppressed,’ and ‘sets prisoners free’ (v7), who ‘lifts up those who are bowed down’ (v8), and ‘remains faithful forever’(v6).
Blessed indeed are those who hope in Him.
‘Praise the LORD, my soul. I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.’ (v2,3)